“Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

  Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.

             Oh, I believe in yesterday.”

Ah the Beatles! Can there ever be a better group of talent and wisdom? Well… yes. Fleetwood Mac and The Eagles of course. I am firm in my belief that no artist can produce a cover of these three groups that would do it justice. It’s just not possible. They are perfection! Their music brings a rush of memories, feelings, tears, laughter… that’s why I am sad because it all seems like just yesterday I had that in my life. Now I feel like a null. But I do believe in scrambled eggs.

COVID~~~SUCKS! It came in like a wrecking ball(Miley Cyrus) I’m in my fourth month of being sick with it and it has demolished my life. But I’m still standing(Elton John). Hence the lyrics above. My hope is that my yesterdays will come back. So many times we are told yesterday is gone and to just forget about it. Even after 25 years as a mental health patient and advocate whose motto was, “the past is gone so let it be”(Again…the Beatles-Paul McCartney); I want my yesterdays back. When I could drive, when I could leave my house just to walk around outside(I walk 5 feet & have trouble breathing), when I could put pen to paper and write my blogs before typing(my body has tremors and my hands shake now). Please comment below if you can relate to any of the COVID symptoms. Fatigue, sleeping a lot, no or little appetite or ability to taste or smell (I’m a foodie so that pleasure in my life is also gone).

Here is how I am going to move forward. I will bring the past forward. I won’t stop thinking about tomorrow(Fleetwood Mac) but I will set a daily routine and do something fun early in the day when my energy is at it’s highest, because Baby I’m a Firework(Katy Perry) I have already started Christmas cards because I know that will take a lot longer. I didn’t have to buy cards because I donate to charities and I was sent so many beautiful cards(full size with matching envelopes!) I think I’m starting to see that I may be looking at my situation a bit too harshly, Stupid Girl(Garbage) Maybe this period of difficulty is to help me appreciate the good times. Although, I have had 8 years of heart surgeries, random emergency room visits, random surgeries, a viral lung infection that almost killed me(not covid). “Heart beats fast, Colours and promises, How to be brave?”(ChristinaPerri) I guess I am wondering if my health is ever going to stop beating on me? I could be dead. That would be worse right? Sometimes… I just don’t know. Eternal sleep and dreaming sounds lovely right now. I wish I could be put into a coma and just have a six month vacation from my life. I like Pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.(Rupert Holmes)

I guess I’ll just have to keep believing in yesterday.

© 2022 “I see… what others refuse to see.
I am… what others refuse to be”
Lady Kate Phillips